I was regretting the past and fearing the future.

Suddenly, my Lord was speaking:

“My name is I am.” He paused.

I waited. He continued,

“When you live in the past

with its mistakes and regrets,

it is hard. I am not there.

My name is not I was.

When you live in the future,

with all it’s problems and fears,

it’s hard. I am not there.

My name is not I will be.

When you live in this moment

it is not hard. I am here

my name is I am.”

Helen Mallicoat

Here’s what you need to do in order to take advantage of structured procrastination:

1. Make a list of all the things that you need to do.
2. Number the things on your list based on priority. Start with “1”, where “1” is the most important thing on the list, and work your way down until you’ve numbered all of the items on the list.
3. Start completing items which are around numbers “3” and “4” as a way to avoid doing items “1” and “2”.

By following this model you’ll be able to get important things done, even though you’re avoiding the most important items on your list.  And how do you get yourself to finish the top two items on your list? That’s easy: find two items that are even more important to add to your list. That way, you’ll procrastinate on these two new items by completing the items that were previously numbers one and two.

Let’s face it, most of us don’t come from families that gave us positive feedback as we were growing up. Our parents did the best that they could, but it’s very likely that they didn’t receive much support growing up either, and you can’t teach what you don’t know.  What you’re going to do in order to remedy this situation is to create an ideal family which will act as your own private cheering section.

The first step is to come up with a list of four or five names: you’re going to choose people to make up your ideal family. It can be anyone, dead or alive, real or fictional. Try to choose people that make you feel some sort of kinship toward them.

The next step in the process is to close your eyes and image that you’re one of these people (one of the people that you’ve chosen to be part of your imaginary family).  As this person, watch yourself enter the room. Note all of the following:

• Notice how you move.
• Notice your facial expressions.
• Notice how you talk to others.
• Notice how you respond to your environment and how others respond to you.

Watch yourself with kindness, as if you were looking at a child whom you love dearly.

Then, write down all of the positive qualities that you see.  Make sure that you only write down positive things. When your first family member is done describing what he or she sees, move on and become the next one. Each of your family members has a different perspective and a different point of view, so they’ll each notice different things about you.

When you’re done pretending that you’re each of your four or five family members, read through everything that you wrote down. You should have a long list of positive qualities about yourself. Does anything on the list surprise you? Make sure that you put your list in a safe place where you can look at it often to keep reminding yourself of everything that’s good about you.

Sean explains that you have to dream big. The goals you list on your bucket list have to be so big, that when you look at them you think to yourself, “Man, I have no idea how I’m going to be able to achieve that.”

He adds that you should share your bucket list with others, because you never know when you might run across someone who can help you achieve one of the items on your list. As an example, he was sharing his life list with a group of people, and one of the people he was talking to mentioned that he might be able to help Sean achieve his goal of meeting the Dalai Lama. A  short while later, this became a reality.

Let Sean’s life, and his can-do attitude, be an inspiration to you. Whatever your life circumstances may be at the moment, take out a piece of paper and start writing down all of the things that you want to be, do, and have in life. Don’t limit yourself: think big. Then, stop making excuses. Get out there and start crossing items off your life list.  As Sean explains, we’re all dying, even if we haven’t gotten a prognosis from a doctor.

Your success depends upon you.

Your happiness depends upon you.

You have to steer your own course.

You have to shape your own fortune.

You have to educate yourself.

You have to do your own thinking.

You have to live with your own conscience.

Your mind is yours and can be used only by you.

You come into the world alone.

You go to the grave alone.

You are alone with your inner thoughts during the journey between.

You must make your own decisions.

You must abide by the consequences of your acts.

“I cannot make you well unless you make yourself well,” an eminent doctor often tells his patients.

You alone can regulate your habits and make or unmake your health.

You alone can assimilate things mental and things material.

Said a Brooklyn preacher, offering his parishioners communion one Sunday: “I cannot give you the blessings and the benefits of this holy feast. You must appropriate them for yourselves. The banquet is spread; help yourself freely.

You may be invited to a feast where the table is laden with the choicest foods, but unless you partake of the foods, unless you appropriate and assimilate them, they can do you no good. So it is with this holy feast. You must appropriate its blessings. I cannot infuse them into you.”

You have to do your own assimilation all through life.

You may be taught by a teacher, but you have to imbibe the knowledge. He cannot transfuse it into your brain.

You alone can control your mind cells and your brain cells.

You may have spread before you the wisdom of the ages, but unless you

assimilate it you derive no benefit from it; no one can force it into your cranium.

You alone can move your own legs.

You alone can use your own arms.

You alone can utilize your own hands.

You alone can control you own muscles.

You must stand on your feet, physically and metaphorically.

You must take your own steps.

Your parents cannot enter into your skin, take control of your

mental and physical machinery, and make something of you.

You cannot fight your son’s battles; that he must do for himself.

You have to be captain of your own destiny.

You have to see through your own eyes.

You have to use your own ears.

You have to master your own faculties.

You have to solve your own problems.

You have to form your own ideals.

You have to create your own ideas.

You must choose your own speech.

You must govern your own tongue.

Your real life is your thoughts.

Your thoughts are of your own thinking.

Your character is your own handiwork.

You alone can select the materials that go into it.

You alone can reject what is not fit to into it.

You are the creator of your own personality.

You can be disgraced by no man’s hand but your own.

You can be elevated and sustained by no man save yourself.

You have to write your own record.

You have to build your own monument – or dig your own pit.

Which are you doing?

In his book, Dr. Fiore explains that, contrary to popular belief, procrastination is not caused by laziness. Therefore, the solution to procrastination isn’t to tell yourself to “just do it”. Instead, procrastination is a defense mechanism that you use in order to protect yourself from stress and anxiety. Dr. Fiore explains that the following are often the causes of procrastination:

• Fear of failure
• Fear of imperfection
• Low self-esteem
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Fear of success

In addition, an important cause of procrastination is a work-play imbalance. When a person feels like all they do is work, and that they’re putting their life on hold because of their work, they begin to resent the time that they have to devote to work-related activities. This resentment causes them to look for excuses to avoid work, which results in procrastination. It may seem counter-intuitive, but one of the best ways to stop procrastinating is to schedule guilt-free play into your week.

You can schedule guilt-free play into your week by creating an Unschedule. In order to create an Unschedule, take out a blank schedule for the week. Now begin by scheduling the following:

• Any routine activities, such as meal preparation, eating your meals, commuting, going to classes, and so on.
• Social events, such as having lunch with a friend, and attending a party after work.
• Leisure activities and exercise.

By doing this you’ll achieve two things. First, you’ll notice that there’s not that much time left over for work. This means that you when you are working, you need to make sure that you focus on important tasks, instead of wasting your precious work time on low priority tasks. It also means that when you’re working you have to make sure to give all of your attention to the task at hand. In addition, it allows you to see that there’s much more going on in your life other than just work.

The second thing that you achieve by creating an Unschedule is that you make sure to schedule play into your day, and into your week. Here are two important guidelines:

• Make sure to schedule at least one hour a day for leisure and/or exercise.
• Make sure to leave one day a week solely for relaxation and for taking care of small chores.

By scheduling guilt-free play into your day, you’ll be recharging your batteries. In addition, your attitude toward work will change. After all, when you see that on Monday you’re playing tennis in the afternoon with your sister, on Wednesday you’re getting a massage, on Thursday you’re taking a yoga class, and so on, you’ll notice that your life is full of fun, relaxing activities, and that you’re not just working all of the time. As a consequence of this, when it’s time to work you’ll be far less likely to start looking for excuses to avoid your work, and you’re much more likely to do what needs to be done.

Harry begins to have flashbacks, and to remember all of the things that he’s done in his life. He thinks of all the experiences he’s had which he fully intended to write about, “someday”. Now he realizes that someday will never come for him, and that his stories will remain untold. Harry aimed high, but he continually made excuses instead of working toward achieving his dreams.  He concludes that he has squandered his time and talent.

Here are Harry’s dying thoughts:

“Now he would never write the things that he had saved to write until he knew enough to write them well. Well, he would not have to fail at trying to write them either. Maybe you could never write them, and that was why you put them off and delayed the starting. Well he would never know, now.”

Harry dies in his sleep, while dreaming that a plane has come to take him to the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro. As he dies, a hyena is heard in the distance.

Hemingway’s short story is a great reminder to follow your dreams now, instead of constantly putting them off until tomorrow. Death can come much sooner than we think. Stop waiting until you’re “good enough”, and stop waiting for “the right time”. Make allowances for your imperfections and start right now, regardless of where you are, who you’re with, or what’s going on around you.

The first thing you need to do is to find a way to make the task more enjoyable.  For example, you may want to turn on your favorite music while you do your house chores. Singing along with songs you love is a great way to distract yourself from monotonous chores. Another example is to turn the task into a game.  If you don’t enjoy grocery shopping, you can turn it into a game by seeing if you can get everything on your list, while staying below your grocery budget for the week. In fact, you can even try to save a little more money each week by getting creative with special deals and coupons, and trying out new ingredients.

The second thing you can do is to set a reward that you’ll give yourself after you’ve completed the task.  As an illustration, you can reward yourself with a hot cup of coffee and a muffin if you vacuum the living room. You could also reward yourself with a little TV time if you do the laundry, or if you iron and put away your clothes. While you’re performing the task, just keep your eyes on the prize.

The third tip for making sure that you stop procrastinating on boring tasks is to tell yourself that you’ll work on the task for just a short spurt of time. For example, tell yourself that you’ll clean the bathroom for just fifteen minutes. Get a kitchen timer, set it to go off in fifteen minutes, and get to work. It’s not that hard to convince yourself to do something—even something you really don’t enjoy—for such a short period of time. Then, once you’ve worked on the task for fifteen minutes, you can try to talk yourself into doing it for another fifteen minutes.

For best results, try combining the three tips above. Suppose that your home office is a mess: the desk is covered with books, bills, and folders. In addition, a project you’re working on is scattered all over the couch, and there’s a pile of invoices on the floor. Although you know full well that your productivity is suffering as a result of this mess, and that you’re also losing money as a result, you really dislike cleaning up your office. Therefore, you’ve been putting it off; that is, you’ve been procrastinating. Turn on some music, set the timer for fifteen minutes, and have a brownie waiting for you in the fridge for when the fifteen minutes are up. Now, stop procrastinating and get to it!

For more information on how to stop procrastinating, visit How to Stop Procrastinating.

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

For more success quotes, visit “72 of the Best Success Quotes“.

(The Flowers With Caramel Photo is courtesy of jonycunha.)

The first pebble represents a flower. Pick up the first pebble and say the following: “I am fresh as a flower.”

Then put down the first pebble and pick up the second one. It represents a mountain. Pick up the second pebble and say the following: “I am solid as a mountain.”

Put down the second pebble and pick up the third one. It represents water. Pick up the third pebble and reflect on the following:

Still water is wonderful.
When the water is still,
it can reflect things as they are;
it does not distort things.
We don’t have wrong views, misunderstanding about things inside and outside of us.
That is why to learn how to breathe in and breathe out mindfully, we can still ourselves, we can calm ourselves.
We make the still water apparent within us.
So still water is within you.

Now put down the third pebble and pick up the last pebble. It represents space. Reflect on the following as you hold the fourth pebble: “I am free as the moon in space.”

To read more about Thich Nhat Hahn, read my blog post: “Thich Nhat Hahn and The Art of Mindful Living“.